Author: editrixjen

Sex Toy Review: Justine Joli’s Foot Stroker

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When one of my best friends, Justine Joli, had her feet molded by Topco for a cool Penthouse toy, I was lucky enough to go with her to do some press. Lainie, the publicist for Penthouse, invited me to do The Derek and Romaine Show on the Sirius Out-Q network. It was such a blast! I was introduced as the “foot toy expert,” and I got to talk about Justine’s new toy (the first set of feet molded from an adult star—-and the first truly fuckable pair of fetish feet), how to enjoy foot play, and why people dig feet so much. I’d done news for my college radio station, but being on Sirius, in a real studio, on a show that people were actually listening to (we took callers and everything) was a much bigger deal. Afterward, Lainie took me to dinner and we had a fabulous night talking about writing, being redheads, and life in the porn industry. It was a night I’ll never forget—-and I have Justine’s feet on my desk for a daily reminder of the good times.

Sex Toy Review: Kimberly Williams’s Breasts

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When these massive mams arrived from Topco, a friend picked up the box and said, “Holy shit, these are heavy!” My response? “Yeah? Try carrying them around all day and you’ll know how it feels to be a lady.”

I always threaten to set these up on the back of my chair as a neck pillow, or to prop them under my desk as an ergonomic footrest. For now, though, I keep them in their box on top of my cubicle, for all to see. I may get them a bra soon—-if I can find one big enough.

The Torch: Review of The Clarence Greenwood Recordings (Citizen Cope)

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Back in college, I mostly wrote news and op-eds. When we ran low on writers, however, I would jump in and write whatever was needed to fill the paper. I’ll share my disastrous attempt to write a sports story soon, but I thought I’d start with something I actually knew how to write: a music review.

I was the managing editor at this point, and my entertainment editor wanted someone to review the new Good Charlotte album. I wasn’t willing to spend my hard-earned money on that particular disc (we didn’t get many review copies in those days), but I suggested we review the new (at the time) Citizen Cope LP. It would give me an excuse to buy the album without feeling guilty for adding more music to my too-large-for-my-iPod collection. Maybe the best part, though, was writing something that, for the first time in a while, wouldn’t cause a controversy, which at the time was my specialty.

Hard News: Sticky Situation

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One of the Penthouse columns I contribute to occasionally is “Hard News.” The column focuses on mainstream news involving sex, and the various writers who contribute give readers a taste of the good, the bad, and the ugly. This short clip I wrote was about a man who ended up getting down and dirty with some Krazy Glue after he pissed off his lady. Ouch!

Hard News: C-Case

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Part of my day job is to review sex toys. After five years in the porn business, I’ve pretty much seen it all. Vibrators, dildos, rubber pussies, fetish feet, crops, floggers…. You name it, it’s probably crossed my desk at some point. But when I was asked to write about this condom box for Penthouse, I had to admit that it was new to me. Cardboard Trojan boxes I’d seen. Even plastic boxes. But a metal box that would neatly dispense one condom at a time while looking perfectly at home on your nightstand? It made my medicine cabinet seem so outdated.

Burlesque 101

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One of my editors over at Penthouse is a huge fan of the odder things in life —- including burlesque and sideshow culture. She recently put together a really awesome feature about some of the coolest people in that world, and I was fortunate enough to grab a few assignments from her. Along with interviewing burlesque legend Jo Weldon (aka Jo Boobs) and writing up Operation Bombshell (which I’ll post about soon), I also got to write about my own attempts at shimmying and shaking.

Last summer, I signed up for a Burlesque Bootcamp class with Kitty Cavalier. I’d decided I needed to try something new, and I was taking every opportunity that presented itself. As it happened, my lovely editor Christine (who put this whole feature together) saw a Groupon-esque deal for burlesque classes, and sent it my way. I couldn’t turn it down! I bought three certificates, grabbed two of my most adventurous girlfriends, and off we went.

You won’t learn much burlesque in one evening, less if you have the grace and coordination of a bull in a china shop (which I do). But after a little more than an hour of thrusting and shaking and bumping and grinding, I manged to pick up a few tips. For the full story you’ll have to read the blurb, but suffice it to say, it was one hell of an experience!

If only every new hobby led to a byline… .

Penthouse Badass: Paul Rieckhoff

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Penthouse just published a really great piece I wrote about Tricare, in which I quote Paul Rieckhoff. Of everything I’ve written over the years, the articles where I’ve quoted Paul are the ones I’m most proud of. Coincidence? Probably. But I’m beginning to think he’s my good-luck interview.

You can read the Tricare article in the May issue of Penthouse, now on stands, or wait until I share it here. Until then, however, check out this tidbit I wrote about Paul a few years back.

Every year Penthouse publishes its annual Badass List. The editors choose the most badass folks from various walks of life, from entertainment to activism, politics to porn. And by “badass,” what they really mean is “kick-ass.” These are the coolest, smartest, most incredible people they’ve come across in the past year. For the 2009 issue, I got to write about Paul Rieckhoff, the founder and executive director of Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America (IAVA). It was hard to get all of his awesome qualities into a hundred words, but it was definitely an interesting challenge. Plus, Paul is the biggest badass I know, so I was honored to be asked to write about him for the magazine.

The Torch: That Time I Got a Ludacris Concert Cancelled

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Rabble-rousing was quite possibly my No. 1 hobby in college. As an aspiring journalist, I wanted to dig deeper into every story. A simple feel-good fluff piece, in my hands, could become a conspiracy being covered up from the highest authorities within the university. I was determined to write only “real” news, hard news. The fluff was for the features editor.

One of the controversies I covered involved the university inviting Ludacris to perform. I went to a Catholic university, one that was so focused on its religious mission that it refused to allow a student production of The Vagina Monologues. Yet they were willing to invite a misogynistic rapper. (Note: I have no problems with Ludacris or his music. It was the fact that their policy made no sense, turning down an educational program because it could offend, but inviting a rapper who was potentially more offensive.) So I wrote about it. And not only did I write the news article about Ludacris’s invitation to the university, I wrote the official editorial as well.

While I was researching and interviewing, I had to look up Ludacris’s lyrics. I then read the lyrics to “P-Poppin’” to a university official. I was already working in porn at that point, so I took extreme delight in reading the very dirty lyrics to the dean; I had no shame, but he wasn’t so unfazed. It was an exceptional form of entertainment.

After that issue ran, with our editor in chief’s column also blasting the university’s slightly baffling decision, Ludacris’s concert was mysteriously canceled. I forget the reason they gave, but everyone knew it had to do with our articles. To say I became unpopular that week would be understatement, but oh the fun I had in the process!

Shirts & Skin

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Once in a while I write wacky features for Penthouse that don’t necessarily involve porn or sex, but do involve sexy ladies. One of my favorites was “Shirts & Skin,” about a strip beer pong game played between members of Howard Stern’s production team and the ladies from Rick’s Cabaret. It was a hilarious match, full of ridiculous antics and nearly naked babes. What’s not to love? My favorite thing about this article, however, is that a copy of it has been mounted and hung inside Rick’s Cabaret in NYC. A friend and I discovered my strip-club fame when we went to Rick’s for another friend’s birthday, and I posed for numerous photos next to the plaque. I’m pretty sure the other partygoers thought I was a little nuts, but I’d never seen any of my work so prominently displayed by someone who wasn’t a close friend. I love looking at the photos of me with my article and wondering how many people have stopped to read it or check out the byline. If you’ve ever been to Rick’s and seen my work hanging up, please tell me. I’m dying to find out how famous I am among the titty-bar aficionados.